Why do I insist on acknowledging people who don’t deserve any of my time? Is it because I’m afraid to wind up alone without them? Or is it because I fear the consequences of cutting all ties with them?
So, I have this friend, who – now that I think about it – I can’t actually call a friend.
Even though I’ve known him for years now, about 13 years to be exact.
He’s the type of guy driven by testosterone. We used to get in all sorts of trouble together, but things have changed since we were teenagers. I’ve grown up and he hasn’t quite as much. The reason why we became friends, was because we made each other laugh all the time. As soon as we saw each other, we tended to burst out in laughter. At least that’s when we were on good terms. There were times when we didn’t. And these times are now more frequent than ever.
This guy is the type of person that can make me feel like complete shit in a matter of seconds. Like I’m a useless person, who’s never going to amount to nothing. A ‘normal’ person would be able to ignore those thoughts, but I can’t. Even though I am the guy with the normal 9 to 5 job, and I am the guy who doesn’t live with his parents anymore and I’m the guy who actually has friends. Real friends.
The problem however is that the things that he says to hurt me, are true as well.
I am the guy who dropped out of college, and I am the guy who doesn’t have a degree, and worst of all I am the guy who never even had a girlfriend. He’s called me a faggot before too, but that’s a truth he fortunately doesn’t even know about.
So tell me, why do I still talk with this guy? Why are we still connected through social media, when we disapprove on damn nearly everything?
I’ve come to a point in my life, where I want to make the right emotional decisions – hence the reason why I started this blog. I want to surround myself with people who are actually worth my time and who make me feel good – heck – who make me feel great about myself!
I’m literally getting nothing out of this relationship anymore, so I think I’m ready to pull the plug on this thing. When somebody has the ability to drain lots of your energy, simply by saying certain things, is it all still worth it?
See you next time.